PETA to Ben and Jerry: Use Human Milk

Here is some insanity for you today!

VERMONT — People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow’s milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.

“PETA’s request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow’s milk in the food he serves,” the statement says.

PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.

“The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.”

In a statement Ben and Jerry’s said, “We applaud PETA’s novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother’s milk is best used for her child.”

I wonder how PETA expected Ben and Jerry to obtain the massive amounts of human breast milk it would require to meet their demands? I don’t even know what to say besides how insane this is. I know there are some witty things I could throw out now, but they are alluding me….but not Jek Porkins:

Here’s the new Ben & Jerry’s Top Ten Flavor List:

Breasty Garcia® Ice Cream
Chocolate Chip Breast Dough Ice Cream
Chocolate Fudge Breast™ Ice Cream
Chunky Breast® Ice Cream
Half Breast™ Ice Cream
Phish Breast® Ice Cream
New York Super Breast Chunk® Ice Cream
Coffee Heath Breast Crunch® Ice Cream
Cherry Garcia® Low Fat Frozen Breast
Peanut Breast Cup™ Ice Cream
I went to their site and suggested the flavor: PETA Super Icy Breastcicle™ Delight.

You know what Ben and Jerry’s really needs? More Veal flavors.

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Posted by Special Contributor on September 24, 2008 4:46 pm

» Filed Under 1st Amendment, News, Propaganda, Psychology, Secular Humanism, Socialism, Unhinged, environmentalism

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7 Responses to “PETA to Ben and Jerry: Use Human Milk”

  1. Two Dogs on September 24th, 2008 6:11 pm

    This simply cannot be true in my world. I will not allow it to be true. We have jumped the shark as a civilization if it is true.

  2. whatthecrap? on September 24th, 2008 6:41 pm

    Every so often, the PETA lunacy sack fills up so much that it pops…

  3. Buck O'Fama on September 24th, 2008 7:36 pm

    I no longer eat B&J’s in protest of their pro-Obama position. This just validates my decision.

  4. Mark on September 24th, 2008 7:53 pm

    Breast milk farms? Hmmm … I wonder what kind of qualifications one would have to have in order to become a hired hand? I’m willing to do my part to help out here … maybe even take a cut in pay …. ????

  5. Damien on September 24th, 2008 11:05 pm

    I’m sorry but Veal flavored ice cream is disgusting, and so is the idea of any kind of meat flavored ice cream. No I’m not an animal rights supporter, or a vegan, but its just that the idea of any meat flavored ice cream sounds incredibly unappetizing.

  6. NightSlicer on September 25th, 2008 12:03 am

    PETA=Pathetically Enriched Turd Abetters

  7. Huck Foley on September 25th, 2008 5:03 am

    “I wonder how PETA expected Ben and Jerry to obtain the massive amounts of human breast milk it would require to meet their demands?”

    Right there your analysis is two steps ahead of PETA’s.

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