Biden Says Hillary Better Qualified Than He? Isn’t Everyone?
Posted on September 11, 2008
-By Warner Todd Huston
Everyone was shocked when Barack Obama dumped his claim to be the agent of “change” by choosing a status quo, ages old politician for his vice presidential slot. Many laughed outloud the second Biden’s name slipped out of the messiah’s lips. Apparently even Senator Joe Biden is shocked. Slow Joe told a crowd on Wednesday that Hillary Clinton might have been a better pick to fill the second slot on the ticket than he.
“Make no mistake about this Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America… and quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me.”
It is looking more every day like this is the correct assessment. Even Joe thinks it’s true.
So, I just thought we’d take a minute to see who else is more qualified to be vice president than slow Joe Biden?
#1
Of course we have the aforementioned Hillary Clinton at the top of the list… at least the top of THIS list, not that Barack Obama has a clue. Who else could keep the PUMA’s in line, who else could unite the Shemale Manhaters club of the feminazi movement? Who else has been at the nexus of history telling Bill to put his pants back on? Hillary Clinton has for decades done so much for this country by having her husband pave the way for her. Still, at least she has a proven record of vote getting. After all, millions of people voted for her. By contrast a whopping 8,000 people voted for slow Joe Biden when he was running for president!
#2
His scraggly new beard aside — it makes him look like a poor man’s Michael Moore — former New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson has appeal amongst minorities and at least he has executive experience. He may be boring and stuffy, but at least he doesn’t have foot-in-mouth disease like slow Joe. That alone puts him head and pot belly beyond Joe Biden.
#3
Senator John Edwards lasted far longer than Biden in the hunt for the White House… though no one knows why. He was a Senator for a full term (at least he’s been in Congress longer than Obama) and it is rumored he once was on a ticket as the vice presidential pick once already, though no one is quite sure of this rumor. He is from one of two America’s, the one where hairstylists make more money an hour than brain surgeons. Further more, he comes pre-disastered with a sex scandal and that will cut down on time, for sure. As for qualifications, Edwards has… well, he is…. um, his record is… uh, he’s done so much for… Well. He has better hair than Biden.
#4
The oft tarted up, aging Hollyweird hipster, Susan Sarandon might even be more qualified than Biden. At least when she says stupid and outlandish, extremist stuff she really, really means it! And, she once played a character that is smart, so she’s farther along the road than Biden on THAT count, too. Like any actor worth her salt, she can cry on demand, too, and that could really come in handy at a press conference.
#5
You want experience? You got it! Daffy Duck has been around for decades and has been pitted against the wily Rabbit long enough to be light on his feet and ever ready with a quip. He’d surely have the media in the palm of his hand and would be a great spokesman for the level of serious leadership that Obama has proven he’s up to. And, his wacky antics might help draw the attention away from Obama’s extreme socialist agenda, too. So, he’s got THAT going for him which is nice.
#6
Vladimir Lenin. Not only did he create an entire system of government — so he’s got experience — but he’s also dead, so he won’t be a threat for upstaging the top of the ticket. Then again, he’s a bit too much like Obama, so maybe he wouldn’t be much of a contrast. On second thought, never mind. If we want old commies, I already mentioned Sarandon.
#7
Speaking of Hollyweird, we also have Sean Penn. No, really. At least he has foreign policy experience… if coddling America-hating tyrants and despots the world over counts for experience. And that be an important qualification must as far as Democrats are concerned. After all, it worked for Jimmy Carter. And Spicoli, er Penn, knows how to order a pizza, too, Mr. Hand. Plus, he knows how to stay on a script without going on digressions that could get him in trouble and since he is surely illiterate, no one would expect him to say anything original, so that whole plagiarism thing that Joey has won’t be an issue for Spicoli… er, I mean Penn. I keep doing that.
#8
Next we offer Keith Olbermann, the wild-eyed, failed sportscaster from MSNBC. And, since MSNBC just fired him from heading up their campaign coverage, he has some free time to devote to the ticket. Now here’s a guy who’s ego is larger than both Obama and Biden together. He isn’t qualified for dog catcher, but he thinks he is, and that is half the battle. And, let’s face it, as mentally ill as he is, he’d be very entertaining in the office. Imagine him at a state funeral telling everyone the deceased is the “worst person in the world.”
#9
We can’t have a list of such auspicious candidates as these without adding “filmmaker” Michael Moore to it. Now, I am sure that bad hygiene is no disqualifying measure for being vice prez, so we can’t use that agin’ him. And, heck, he can lie better than anyone in the media if his “films” are any indication. So, he’d fit right in should he be sent to D.C. Of course, we may have a bit of a problem with the towering deficit that would be created by his care and feeding as he occupies the VP’s mansion. Based on his ample girth, we’d have to totally revamp the kitchen, add several cooks and contract out a few grocery chains for supplies. The costs would be prohibitive, I’m sure.
And Finally… drum roll please… #10
Come on. It’s a box of rocks. When looking for things more qualified than Joe Biden… what more can we say?
Special Mention
I don’t know if it’s possible for a candidate to run as his own vice president, but I have to say, Barack himself seems to have better qualifications to be the number two pick. Don’t you think?
» Filed Under Domestic Enemies, Elections, Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Liberal Media/Bias, News, Obama/Biden
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6 Responses to “Biden Says Hillary Better Qualified Than He? Isn’t Everyone?”
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Biden is out by the end of the month, citing either health reasons or “for the good of the party.” Obama goes with Hillary.
hilliary is more qualified than barack but she lost.
hilliary is more qualified than joe \biden but she wast picked.
hilliary is a loser.
barack wants winners.
i am 100% for sarah palin. she is finally someone who is shacking up our party.
correct me if i’m wrong, but isn’t nancy palosi a woman her 5 children(don’t know the ages) 2 breaths from the white house? i haven’t heard anything about her qualifications.
love your web site and stint on fox news.
thomascsr
Good grief. I hope Biden doesn’t meet with an “unfortunate accident.”
This just goes to show you how messed up and dishonest, sneaky, desperate and conniving this Dem party is.
They are so transparent. They should all walk around wearing two layers of clothing …maybe it would help a little.
At this point, I would vote for McCain/Palin if they walked around carring machine guns.
Seriously FedUP!
DWH, do you expect anyone to believe you? You’ve never voted for a Democrat, indeed! Geeze what a lie.
Why even bother. Each and every 4 years it just keeps on getting worse with all of the name calling and smear tactics. Whatever has happened to those main qualifications for the highest ofice in this country.
Truth, honesty, integrity and the desire to serve your nation and not see how you can line your own pockets instead.