An Alternative Christian History
Posted on July 26, 2008
Cross posted from Radarsite
Originally published at Political Grind
What if we just switch names?
Christ receives messages from God and travels to Jerusalem to preach his revelations. He is rejected by the religious establishment and forced to leave the city. He takes up his new residence in Bethlehem and through his preaching succeeds in creating a large loyal following.
He sustains this new movement by raiding passing caravans and — after receiving special divine dispensation — beheading the defenders. He then marries several wives, including — after receiving special divine dispensation — a nine year old girl. Next, he raises an army and attacks Jerusalem where, after putting all of his enemies to the sword, he succeeds in capturing the city.
His new found religion flourishes and after many bloody wars spreads over the entire geographical area. He dies. There ensues a violent dispute over the succession between Saint Peter and Saint Paul. Saint Paul is assassinated and his followers go into exile. Saint Peter is proclaimed to be Jesus’ legitimate successor.
Several generations pass and eventually the Pauline exiles find a new leader in Saint Jerome. Under his inspired leadership they rise up and attack Jerusalem. They lose the battle and Saint Jerome is beheaded. The Jeromists become a persecuted minority within Christianity and spend the next fourteen centuries plotting their revenge. Their symbol is the severed head of Saint Jerome.
This religion is known the world over as The Religion of Peace.
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6 Responses to “An Alternative Christian History”
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Religion of peace: why it ain’t:
Al-Anfal, Al-Taubah, Al-Fath, As-Saff.
That scripture is the basis of Sharia, for which refer to Book O, Ch. 9 of Reliance of the Traveler.
How about my suggestion. Alternative history 2. Israelis find a way to time travel, go back to ancient Arabia and kill Mohammad before he even gets a start. Let’s say about age 5 or 6.
World has peace for 1400 years.
I think this is kind of a silly post, because one could make an equally absurd and violent religious backstory using the Old Testament God instead of Jesus. Of course Islam is ridiculous, but I don’t think any religion is in any position to point fingers when it comes to ridiculousness.
Let me fix that for you, John:
“I think this is kind of a silly post, because one could make an equally absurd and violent religious backstory using the Old Testament God instead of Jesus. Of course Islam is ridiculous, but I don’t think.”
There.
!
John, argumentum Tu Quoque is a diversion, not a defense. Judaism & Christianity are not raising Hell all over the world in the name of YAHWEH. Muslims are raising Hell all over the world in Allah’s name.
Take a good long look at the Koran: 8:39 & 9:29
Those are commands, to be believed and carried out. I refer you to Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir of 3:7.
This bores me to tears! Is there any other topic that can move this aside? Lord knows, we have enough problems to handle instead of you creating strawmen to hide behind..