The amazing Obamamessiah DOESN’T SWEAT when he works out!
Posted on July 25, 2008
Get ready to be amazed, mortals, because this story will BLOW YOUR MINDS. Seriously. This may be the most important thing you’ll read today. You, lucky reader, will get to read a first-hand account of the wonders of the Obamamessiah’s workout regimen and how he doesn’t even sweat.
It’s 16:02pm and I’ve been training in the gym of the Ritz Carlton hotel in Berlin. A man in a suit approaches me and says: “Barack Obama is about to come and train …“ Shortly after half past four and he actually arrives! Barack Obama is wearing a grey t-shirt, black tracksuit bottoms – and a great smile!
“Hi, how’s it going?“ asks Obama in his deep voice. My heart beats. “Very good, and you?” I say. Obama replies: “Very good, thank you!”
Obama (with toned arms and a strong back) puts on his headphones for his iPod to listen to pop music. He hums quietly. Then he jumps on a fitness bike. He pushes three times on the pedals – but then can’t be bothered with it.
He goes and picks up a pair of 16 kilo weights and starts curling them with his left and right arms, 30 repetitions on each side. Then, amazingly, he picks up the 32 kilo weights! Very slowly he lifts them, first 10 curls with his right, then 10 with his left. He breathes deeply in and out and takes a sip of water from his 0,5 litre Evian bottle.
Shortly before five o’clock Obama comes over and sits directly next to my cross-trainer on the mat. First he does 10 sit-ups, then stretches. Then he looks at his watch and says to his bodyguard: “It’s time, let’s go.” Quickly I ask: “Mr. Obama, could I take a photo?”. “Of course!” he answers, before asking my name and coming over to stand next to me.
“My name’s Judith” I reply. “I’m Barack Obama, nice to meet you!” he says, and puts his arm across my shoulder. I put my arm around his hip – wow, he didn’t even sweat! WHAT A MAN!
The emphasis, believe it or not, was in the original.
So, get this: he’s got a deeeeep voice that makes this woman’s heart race. He’s all toned and muscular. He drinks Evian. He can do curls with 32 kilo weights — that’s like, 70 lbs! And then, on top of all that, he doesn’t even sweat. I mean, this must surely be proof that the Obamamessiah truly is the Savior and not of our kind. He’s just such a hunk!
This was written by Judith Bonesky, a German reporter. Very professional, huh? Maybe she’s just the female version of Chris “I Felt This Thrill Going Up My Leg” Matthews. Or maybe the press isn’t even trying to hide their adoration of Barack Obama anymore. Who knows? Who cares? This story is the most ridiculous thing I think I have ever read to be passed off as “news” — and yes, it was posted in the news section of the website. Because, you know, Barack Obama’s work-out regimen is breaking news.
Maybe the editors should add a “adolescent gossipy worship” section if they want to keep running stories like this. But then again, we now know that the Obamamessiah doesn’t even sweat when he works out. And if that doesn’t convert you racist non-believers, well then, nothing will.
Hat Tip: Michelle Malkin
» Filed Under Liberal Media/Bias, News
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“Then he jumps on a fitness bike. He pushes three times on the pedals – but then can’t be bothered with it.”
Welcome to the Obamessiah’s Fitness Regimen. I bet he runs the country in the same way. Give it a quick try then go do something else.
Anyone who really believes that shinola deserves to have their opinion ridiculed.
There is absolutely no way that happened, period. I’m 6′5″ & 230-ish pounds & I’ve lifted religiously for 11 years and I know there is no way on this earth that Barack Obama can curl 35 pounds 30 times in each arm, much less 70 pounds ten times in each arm. The number of people on this planet who could accomplish that resembles the number of people who measure 7 feet tall.
I’ll bet my house on it.
Damn, this story is making me….hungry. Pass the chicken wings and pork rinds. And, shucks, I’ll take a can of Colt 45 too.
WTF?Does he pant , like a dog?Do muslims sweat?
That little skinny wimp?
Right.
He does sound like a second string jock when he tries to speak on his own, though.
Well, of course not. Reptiles don’t have sweat glands.
Obama does not sweat? Looking at the picture it looks to me like he does.
There is something scary about a man who doesn’t sweat when he works out. Maybe he isn’t really human. Anyone ever see if he has a bellybutton?
After thinking about this story for a few hours I have this question bouncing around my head;
How is it that a reporter just happened to be working out in the gym at a hotel when BHO was coming in? I smell set up….Is this reporter on assignment and just happened to be there? Honestly I have known a few reporters in my day and the only exercise I saw them get was bending their elbow.
I think this stinks to high heaven.
Quote: “I put my arm around his hip – wow, he didn’t even sweat! WHAT A MAN!”
Judith Bonesky
At the expense of touching upon a taboo subject, offending some people, and being infinitely politically incorrect, I have to advance the proposition of whether this apparently subconscious, inordinate, visceral reaction of libido on the part of Miss Bonesky may not reflect the phenomenon of white women swooning and fainting and going into what can only be described as ecstatic orgasms at Obama rallies and in Obama’s presence. May it perhaps be that in their inbreeding, in America as well as in Europe, they instinctively have a subconscious compulsion to expand their gene pools with the charming, “swarthy,”
“Obamamessiah”? If not so, how else can you explain such visceral reactions, such debasing obeisance, such exagerated adulation, and so much hysteria and hype about this insignificant “Magische Schwarze”?
This may even explain the fawning of the media (made up of mostly inbred, Elitist, white, liberals - many of them “female”) and may even explain Chris Matthews’ “I Felt This Thrill Going Up My Leg” Obama libido, which can easily be explained if you add Mr. Matthews’ similar compulsion to expand his inbred gene pools with some latent homosexual tendencies on his part.
Does it make any sense to anyone? How else can you explain away so much apparently compulsive madness about this most unqualified of candidates…other than the damn color of his skin?!?!
Althor