To be a good Democrat…
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV’s.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach fourth
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee,
Thomas Edison and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked
anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail,
but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it’s okay to give Federal workers off for
Christmas Day but it’s not okay to say “Merry Christmas.”
Got this via forwarded email and got a chuckle or two, so I thought I’d share.
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Posted by Greg Scott on January 26, 2007 6:50 am
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7 Responses to “To be a good Democrat…”
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BINGO!
I’m glad this is listed as a humorous blog, because it isn’t true @ all.
Lighten up Sheri…
I know the Daily Kos can only manage to vomit blood and fire when talking about their opposition, so I know it must be a bucket of ice water down your bikini to see that at least one side can poke fun.
All studies do show that political conservatives are far more happy and optimistic, so your lil’ huffy-huf shouldn’t surprise me.
Again, I think that I need to start shooing some of these brain dead short sighted morons off of here who cannot recognize the truth if it slapped them in the face. Especially if they fail to see that this isn’t just humorous, but true. And added to that, fail to provide a link to THEIR OWN BLOG huh Sheri the mental midget?
And oh, you may want to tune-in to Wide Awakes Radio at midnight EST because Sheri the mental midget, you will be discussed. And if you would like to refute my claims, you can always call in if you have the guts. But I doubt that you will. Because like most lefties, you haven’t any guts. See http://www.gribbitonline.com/?p=650 for further proof of leftist, gutless wonders.
7, 11, and 16 are funny; The rest are just rhetoric. No harm in taking a stab at levity, though.
Since I’m frequently described as a “Leftist” or “Liberal”, I’d like to take the opportunity to demonstrate just how far I am from the above caricature.
1. I don’t oppose capital punishment and I don’t mind certain limits being placed on abortion.
2. I’m probably more “pro-laissez faire” than anyone else here.
3. I fully support the 2nd amendment.
4. I’m all for slashing the role of the federal government, but I would tackle the big ticket items before I started pinching pennies.
5. I think our understanding of the earth’s climate is limited, however the correlation between industrialization and warming is strong enough to merit attention. Since we’re a loooong way away from being able to find another home, it’s best to proceed with caution.
6. I have no idea to what extent homosexuality is natural, but I do know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I happen to be attracted to blondes and brunettes with straight, shoulder-length hair. Why? I don’t know. As for gender roles, aside from a few topics that are biology-specific, I don’t see why they can’t be reversed, even in a heterosexual relationship. Some women do “wear the pants in the family.”
7. Federal funding is one of the last things you’ll ever hear me propose as a possible solution to a problem.
8. I’ve had some bad teachers, but I’m pretty sure they were all capable of teaching a child how to read.
9. Hunters and activists both care in their own ways, but there is some degree of hypocrisy in both camps.
10. It is very important for a child to earn his accolades, however it is rarely productive to kick him while he’s down.
11. I don’t know Mel Gibson, so I won’t presume to know his motives, but $25 million is very small for a feature film these days and his target market was pretty big. I’m sure he had a reasonable expectation of making it back.
12. Both organizations are imperfect, but important.
13. Our taxes are too low relative to our spending, but from an absolute perspective, they are far too high. I’m all for finding the right spot on the Laffey Curve, but there comes a point where you have to reduce the role of the government if you want to reduce its size.
14. I don’t know who Sanger or Steinam are, but I think I’ve heard Sanger referred to as a communist on this site. I agree that our society is woefully ignorant of its history.
15. Standardized tests are limited in their diagnostic capabilities, but I don’t support racial quotas. In fact, I recently voted against them.
16. Hilary is a power-hungry politician, just like almost everyone else in the two major parties.
17. Socialism hasn’t worked because it needs the kind of despot it has historically attracted.
18. I’m not sure what he meant by the “conservatives belong in jail” bit, but Clinton should have been held liable for his perjury.
19. I would be equally opposed to my government hosting a gay pride parade as I would be about it hosting a manger scene. I would also equally support the right of private organizations to do either.
20. It’s not. If you can prove it, please do so. I won’t shed any tears if the Democratic Party falls to pieces.
21. No, but it is typical of the exaggerated rhetoric that only serves to undermine honest discussion.
22. I don’t care if someone wishes me a “Merry Christmas.”
I don’t expect anyone here to agree with me on all points and I don’t really want to get into a discussion about any of them at this time. There’ll be many opportunities to discuss them individually. I just hope you realized that we do share some common ground, even if it doesn’t usually relate to the topics discussed here.
To be a NeoCON . . . you must have a closed mind.