I guess I can’t stop you from praying for me, but beware: I have an invisible anti-prayer cloak! Any prayers directed at me or said on my behalf bounce right off and turn into beautiful butterflies. You know that’s where they come from, right?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

By the way, I’m blessedly free of religious superstitions, but I also would never be in favor of state-supported atheism. The issue here is control, and n one has the right to tell others what to think. But in modern-day America that’s exactly what you and your misguided, crap-spewing fellow godlickers relish most. I’ll pray for you to be run over by a truck only because I know it won’t work, as I’m actually a great, forgiving, and magnanimous guy.

Tolerate This
Written by: Aaron Sain/Frank Highland

I heard you found a new religion that’s got nothing to do with God.
They’re politically correct, a liberated little sect, the self appointed “tolerance squad”.
You say that you’ve been ‘enlighted’ and the problem lies with people like me.
You say that you’re ‘tolerant’ and ‘open-minded’, well, here’s your chance to prove it to me!

Chorus
(Tolerate this) I believe in marriage between a woman and a man
(Tolerate this) I believe in driving the biggest car I can
(Tolerate this) A good old fashioned spanking is necessary, not cruel!
You’re preaching tolerance to me while you’re standing there shaking your fist.
Well, tolerate this!

You claim to be so accepting but all you do is yell at people like me.
Up in my face, invading my space, telling me what I should believe!
And when it comes to religion Christianity tops your list.
You say that you’re tolerant well here’s your chance to put your money where your mouth is!

(Tolerate this) I believe in Jesus and prayer in public school,
(Tolerate this) I believe that evolution makes a monkey out of you!
(Tolerate this) I don’t believe in separation of the church and state…
You’re preaching “tolerance” to me while you’re standing there shaking your fist.
Well, tolerate this!

I own a Smith and Wesson and a shotgun, too!
I think the Founding Fathers wouldn’t tolerate you!

(Tolerate this) I think that Global Warming is just a bunch of crap!
You’re preaching tolerance to me while you’re standing there shaking your fist.
So take a look in the mirror the next time you’re pitchin’ a fit and..
Then tolerate this!

As to your ‘trying the prayer thing’ I feel sorry for you, and will continue praying for your kind that you might one day wake up.

There is no such verbiage as ’separation of church and state’ in the Constitution or any of the founding documents.

This is the reason why across the country for decades there have been prayers at the beginning of city council meetings, at the beginning of the inauguration, at the beginning of boy scout meetings, etc.

We have every right to be out there in public talking about the Word of God, quoting from it, and displaying creches, and whatever the hell else we damned please….regardless what you cretins have to say about it.

It’s in the Soviet Union where it’s illegal to teach a child about religion…maybe you should live there since people are only allowed to learn about that kind of thing legally until they’re 18 years or older.

Now if you guys have your way, I’m sure you’d like to recreate that communist utopia over here because communism didn’t work because ‘the right people weren’t in charge’.

But get a clue. It has never worked, and communism is the antithesis of everything we Christians stand for which is why a lot of us end up tortured, imprisoned, etc.–just like what happened recently in Egypt.

We’re facing the encroachment of some pretty frightening things today, and it’s about time people joined the Christian Underground and started being a lot more vocal about their beliefs.

The Right Brothers have a song about this outrage, which is very fitting.

If You Ain’t Outraged
Written by: Aaron Sain/Frank Highland

You can go downtown and the tax payers money will help you kill your baby.
Go across the street to the courthouse and the Ten Commandments can’t be found.
You can’t even say the Pledge of Allegiance and not offend someone lately.
You can cuss out your teacher in the classroom but you can’t pray to God out loud!

Chorus:

If you ain’t outraged you ain’t paying attention!
If you’re not ticked off, either you don’t know what’s going on or just don’t care.
‘Cause every time you turn around
Something new’s dragging this country down…
If you ain’t outraged you ain’t paying attention!

They tried to stop “The Passion” but they think the truth is in “Fahrenheit 911”.
They hate the Constitution but they love judges legislating from the bench.
If Michael Moore became the president they’d think they’d died and gone to heaven.
Can’t stand “fair and balanced” but can’t get enough of the U.N. and the French!

I tried the prayer thing for a good ten years or so, but it really didn’t get me anywhere. Life has only gotten better since I gave it up.

“Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.”

“Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he’ll starve to death while praying for a fish.”

-Authors Unknown

Thanks for your prayers, Jay et al., but we’ll take care of ourselves.

In that case, you might as well throw up a white flag right now. In terms of effectiveness, prayer’s track record is equal to that of animal sacrifice, rain dances, and coin flipping.