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Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all those
Californians trying to share the expe…

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Q: What is green and lives in the ocean?
A: Moby Pickle.
Q: “What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic
existentialist?”
A: “Is there a dog?”

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– Hester Pryne
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You will be held hostage by a radical group.
You may my glories and my state dispose,
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– William Shakespeare, “Richard II”

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Q: What is purple and commutes?
A: An Abelian grape.

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– Mark Twain
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Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
Don’t read any sky-writing for the next two weeks.